Finding the Good Stuff Within

Today was an interesting day at work. My co-worker and I got asked by the boss's wife to head up a project - doing something nice for another fellow co-worker who just had his 4th baby. We had to design a banner, take up a collection for a gift, and go buy said gift. We were both extremely irritated by this request. That was until we realized that the parts of the project that seemed daunting, the other was willing to do. What I mean is, I did NOT want to go shopping for baby crap on my time off. Heck no!! I am NOT a kid/baby person. And my co-worker hated the idea of going around asking people for money. That part didn't bother me, and she was happy to go buy the present. It worked out well when we pulled our talents together as a team to get this done in a way that made us both comfortable.

And I reflected on it afterwards. I walked around the office and in the plant, asking everyone. I made note in my reflections that I have a cheerful, flirty nature, therefore a good rapport with all of my co-workers - most of them are guys. And for some reason, I also am pretty talented at raising money. So everyone gave me a smile and a few dollars. In some strange way, I am very good at this - and it's not often that I'm able to reflect on a hidden talent and praise myself.

I'm also a hella good dancer, but that's beside the point right now.

Basically, I just wanted to reflect on this, because of a quote I read the other day on Facebook.  Something along the lines of ... it takes as much energy to beat yourself up as it does to praise and pump up yourself. I've been pretty exhausted from all the beating up I've done to myself. I'm going to start practicing praising myself, hence the hidden talent reflections. :)

Tonight, after work, instead of going to the gym, I went to the beach and walked "the Loop" and listened to a podcast, ate some soup when I got home, took a long bath, read some of my book, now blogging, and going to head to bed soon ... if that isn't loving myself, I'm not sure what is. :)

Life is optimistically good. :)

My Epitaph

Here lies Angela Marie Johnson,
a loving, good-natured, openminded woman,

who embraced her silly inner little girl everyday. 

Her heart was a bouncy house - full of joy, fun, 

laughter and love. Her mind was an amusement park 

with roller coasters, merry-go-rounds and the tilt-a-whirl. 

Having to have things "just so" for her made for 

a lot of the ups and downs and arounds that life throws

at you a little hard to deal with, but usually, 

after getting off the rides, she had had a good time,

 enjoyed her life and proud of who she was. 

Her soul was honest, genuine, trustworthy and true. 

She could be a spoiled brat, but tried to balance it out 

by being giving and fair. She could be very down on herself, 

but always did her best to keep her held held high. 

She was the kind of person you called "home".

Opening Windows

Once upon a time there was a girl would rather sit on her couch day after day and watch TV and not do much of anything else. Then she woke up and realized it was a terrible waste of time, energy, and talent to be a blob like that. 

Picking yourself up and climbing out of the box is a hard life lesson to learn - and well, to be successful at anyways. Showing up for yourself is tough stuff.  Showing up in life for yourself is STEP ONE

One of the hardest things in life is showing up. Showing up, to me, means that you put forth the effort to have a new discovery, learn something new, make a connection, grow inside, change, be healthy.

Showing up for yourself is extremely hard because we are our own worst critics, as cliche as that sounds. We are not good to ourselves, say mean, hurtful things to ourselves. Put ourselves down, make excuses, get lazy and are generally not good.

I say NO MORE!! I challenge you to show up for yourself. Let's inspire, encourage, push and love one another!!! 

I'm opening the windows to my life and letting the fresh air wash over me, letting it energize me into figuring out what's next.

I'm learning to evolve ... a process that I hope never ends.

Where in the World is Angel "Sandiego"?

There is something incredibly liberating about no one knowing where you are in the whole wide world. You make your own decisions. You go where you want to go. Do what you want to do, etc. It can be a little exhilarating thinking about no one being able to find you. For the most part, being alone is nice. A little self-indulgent. It's good self help for me. Being alone helps me look inward at my thoughts, feelings and ramblings in my brain.

Today, I had a great day. Hung out with my husband, good quality time. Bought a few things at the Goodwill Store. That was a little frustrating, actually. But I followed it up with a spur of the moment nice long walk on the beach. Damn, it felt AMAZING. The sand in my toes. The sun on my face. The music in my ears. The water on my skin. No one knowing where I am. I walked and walked and walked. The good stuff. I need that more often. I need that all the time. Going to make an effort for that. And I know I could never move too far away from the beach.

And then the beer store had free cupcakes! Woot!

There's been a lot of things going on in the last few months. Friends getting married. Friends and Family having babies. Friends getting engaged. Family visits. Traveling to new places. Losing friends. Gaining friends. Loving my husband. Loving myself. Tattoos (the sequel to the Orange). Birthdays. Decluttering - physically and emotionally. It's been a busy time. 

I'm in a super good place right now. My husband is too. We have a lot of good stuff going on and stuff to look forward to in the future. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is next June, planning a vacation to New York City. woot woot! 10 years too ... that's amazing.

I haven't painted or created art in a very long time. It bothers me, but I don't know what to do to fix it. Well, that's not true. I need to drag out my paints and canvases and just DO IT. I need to get over the "what's the point" mentality. So what if there isn't an art show to sell anything at or people aren't buying anymore. That's not reason to not create. Need to find my motivation. Need my muse.

Writing a blog entry feels very cathartic. Yay, more good stuff!!

 “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” - Denis Waitley

New year time! First Blog of 2013

Life is a spectacular journey. Front row seats is the best way. With popcorn (because popcorn is a healthy whole grain - without all the butter nonsense on it).

Keep on keeping on ... and wait for the sequel!!