My Epitaph

Here lies Angela Marie Johnson,
a loving, good-natured, openminded woman,

who embraced her silly inner little girl everyday. 

Her heart was a bouncy house - full of joy, fun, 

laughter and love. Her mind was an amusement park 

with roller coasters, merry-go-rounds and the tilt-a-whirl. 

Having to have things "just so" for her made for 

a lot of the ups and downs and arounds that life throws

at you a little hard to deal with, but usually, 

after getting off the rides, she had had a good time,

 enjoyed her life and proud of who she was. 

Her soul was honest, genuine, trustworthy and true. 

She could be a spoiled brat, but tried to balance it out 

by being giving and fair. She could be very down on herself, 

but always did her best to keep her held held high. 

She was the kind of person you called "home".

Opening Windows

Once upon a time there was a girl would rather sit on her couch day after day and watch TV and not do much of anything else. Then she woke up and realized it was a terrible waste of time, energy, and talent to be a blob like that. 

Picking yourself up and climbing out of the box is a hard life lesson to learn - and well, to be successful at anyways. Showing up for yourself is tough stuff.  Showing up in life for yourself is STEP ONE

One of the hardest things in life is showing up. Showing up, to me, means that you put forth the effort to have a new discovery, learn something new, make a connection, grow inside, change, be healthy.

Showing up for yourself is extremely hard because we are our own worst critics, as cliche as that sounds. We are not good to ourselves, say mean, hurtful things to ourselves. Put ourselves down, make excuses, get lazy and are generally not good.

I say NO MORE!! I challenge you to show up for yourself. Let's inspire, encourage, push and love one another!!! 

I'm opening the windows to my life and letting the fresh air wash over me, letting it energize me into figuring out what's next.

I'm learning to evolve ... a process that I hope never ends.

Where in the World is Angel "Sandiego"?

There is something incredibly liberating about no one knowing where you are in the whole wide world. You make your own decisions. You go where you want to go. Do what you want to do, etc. It can be a little exhilarating thinking about no one being able to find you. For the most part, being alone is nice. A little self-indulgent. It's good self help for me. Being alone helps me look inward at my thoughts, feelings and ramblings in my brain.

Today, I had a great day. Hung out with my husband, good quality time. Bought a few things at the Goodwill Store. That was a little frustrating, actually. But I followed it up with a spur of the moment nice long walk on the beach. Damn, it felt AMAZING. The sand in my toes. The sun on my face. The music in my ears. The water on my skin. No one knowing where I am. I walked and walked and walked. The good stuff. I need that more often. I need that all the time. Going to make an effort for that. And I know I could never move too far away from the beach.

And then the beer store had free cupcakes! Woot!

There's been a lot of things going on in the last few months. Friends getting married. Friends and Family having babies. Friends getting engaged. Family visits. Traveling to new places. Losing friends. Gaining friends. Loving my husband. Loving myself. Tattoos (the sequel to the Orange). Birthdays. Decluttering - physically and emotionally. It's been a busy time. 

I'm in a super good place right now. My husband is too. We have a lot of good stuff going on and stuff to look forward to in the future. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is next June, planning a vacation to New York City. woot woot! 10 years too ... that's amazing.

I haven't painted or created art in a very long time. It bothers me, but I don't know what to do to fix it. Well, that's not true. I need to drag out my paints and canvases and just DO IT. I need to get over the "what's the point" mentality. So what if there isn't an art show to sell anything at or people aren't buying anymore. That's not reason to not create. Need to find my motivation. Need my muse.

Writing a blog entry feels very cathartic. Yay, more good stuff!!

 “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” - Denis Waitley

New year time! First Blog of 2013

Life is a spectacular journey. Front row seats is the best way. With popcorn (because popcorn is a healthy whole grain - without all the butter nonsense on it).

Keep on keeping on ... and wait for the sequel!!

Following my Inner Orange....

A couple of months ago I went to a party at one of my mother's friend's house. Not sure why I was hanging out with her crowd, but it was cool. I ate good food and drank ... and drank ... and drank. And before I knew it, oops, I was d.r.u.n.k. Like, whoa!!! Fell into bushes, thrown in the pool fully clothed, peed my pants drunk. Yep, and my mother was too! Ha! At that party, one of her guy friends was wearing a Tshirt that I thought said "follow your inner orange" on the front of it. The Universe was speaking to my drunk ass! I HAD to have that shirt!! That was SUCH a powerful message!!  Lucky for me, I have pretty-girl-power, (so what if I made a scene!) and the guy friend took it off and gave it to me. See, orange is my favorite color. :) Not sure how in my weirdo brain that means anything powerful, but it totally spoke to me. After I sobered up the next day, I discovered the Tshirt was for Shock Top beer (ugh, I hate beer) and the front of the shirt emblazoned their logo (perhaps the friend was wearing Tshirt backwards??) and what it actually said was "release your inner orange" -- which incidentally is just as powerful in my heart.

Anyhoooo ... long story short ... Follow your Inner Orange became my message. :)

What does it mean, you ask???

My inner orange is every single ounce of self-love in my heart. It is my ambition. It is my meditation. It is my little child. It is my freak coming out. It is my dorkiness. It is my event planner, bringing people together. It is ALL the self-help books, articles and quotes I've ever read. It is the friend that listens. It is the helper that helps. It is my heart smiling. It is gratitude. It is cookies, ice cream, coffee and mac-n-cheese. It is a warm blanket and a good movie. It is the sun on my face. It is the weights I lift, the sweat on my brow, the exercise I need. It is a healthy meal. It is the paint on my canvas. It is art I feel. It is my hips I shake, the booty I bounce, the dance in my step. It is my therapy-however, whenever, whatever I chose for that to be, at any given moment.

It is my essence. My core. My being.

Unfortunately, I lose my way off this path very frequently and sometimes have a hard time finding my way back. Being in a rut SUCKS! I have super duper awesomely amazing friends/people in my life that help my find my way back, to show me how to love myself as is, to encourage, to challenge, to inspire, to accept me that way I am (no small feat!) Every single one of these people are a part of me "following my inner orange" and I consider myself very luck and very rich for them.

I feel as if I'm back on the right path and things are good. The Universe is smiling on me (knocking on wood right now). I'm always a work in progress, but it's all good. Life is good.

And to further help myself get on the right path and STAY on the right path ... this became my latest tattoo inspiration. :)

INDEED!!