Loving Myself - I'm awesome!

Loving oneself is not an easy task. Especially for a woman. Not that I'm being sexist or anything, but I relate to being a woman because, well ... I am one ... and the journey of loving myself has been tough. Feeling pretty, feeling smart, feeling sexy ... all seemingly unattainable feelings in the roller coaster of my mind. I've never felt very pretty - more plain jane than anything - thanks to the frizzy afro some call hair and the facial polkadots some call acne. I have the bad habit of comparing myself to the more beautiful, a very bad habit! I've never felt very sexy either. At only 5 foot 1.75 inches (not quite 5'2") ... I do "cute" well, but sexy? I dunno.  And I'm petite in height, not so petite in size, thus making it almost impossible to find clothes to fit me, because in the Fashion World of every store including Goodwill, petite = skinny. Sigh ...

Oh, and I wear glasses too .... and I'm highly awkward. Dork is an understatement. :)

So, this blog isn't about berating myself or anything, it is supposed to be uplifting, to which I'm off to a great start I see!! Seriously, my journey includes feeling bad about myself every time I try on clothes or go to the beach or looking in the mirror ... but my journey also is about loving myself just the way I am. I'm sure everyone has heard or read that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14, and that was hot back then. Somehow that doesn't equate in my brain as hot now, as I have issues with buttoning up my size 14 jeans, but it's true. Sexy people come in all sizes, this is something I'm learning throughout my journey. Dare I say I'm hot?  hee hee

It's easy to cut other people slack, giving them the benefit of the doubt in miscellaneous situations. But when it's time for you to cut yourself slack, it's a whole new ballgame. I'm the toughest critic, the worst therapist, the most horrible partner to myself. I am my own self-esteem's worst nightmare. Why?!?

I believe in going to the gym and eating right. I think doing healthy things is very important. I believe in trying, to put forth the effort. It makes me feel better as a person, it feels like growth on this journey. I like lifting weights. I like eating broccoli. Really. I'm not lying. The part I don't like is beating myself up over skipping the gym one day, or eating the french fries with my Whopper.  The terribly guilt I place in my mind about eating that Taco Supreme Combo, or deciding that I have a headache and don't feel like going to Kickboxing .... to which I sit on the couch feeling sorry for myself after the decision.

NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It ends now. This week I made the executive decision to not go to the gym on Tuesdays. The husband asked why. My response, "Because it makes me a happier person not to." Meaning, by making the decision to take that day off, I will feel NO guilt. I will love myself no matter what.

It's been a great week too since I've decided to love myself the way I am. I AM hot!! My friends think so, it's about time I think so as well.

Some motivating thingys i found on the interweb ... pay close attention to the fine print in the first one. :)

DAMN STRAIGHT, GIRL!!